when theres a deal on steaks, you grab it!
I made liver for her. before I cooked the liver I gave her some raw, as well as the blood the liver was packed in… she scarfed it up but not before giving me her skeptical look like, what's the hook, is this really ok. I so love that she is such a thinker, so smart.. a skeptic after my own heart.
made me think of the time she STOLE eight pounds of steak from our kitchen table, this was maybe 8 years ago… I had purchased a mega load of beef, it was a great deal and, when theres a deal on steaks, you grab it! I had this beef thought out and deeply planed, some would be froze, we'd grill some, take the left overs and use them for fajitas and so on… I had just spiced them and went to my office to consult ye'old internet on freezing to avoid freezer burn and other tips to prep our meals and meat for the next couple of weeks. I was at my desk all of what seemed like 30 seconds and asked amy if cheyenne was with her, in her office, she said "yes" and then, "no, I guess not". I jumped and moved like a fat man who was about to loose his next two weeks of decent meals and, sure as shit, the pooch had gotten to the steaks… within what seemed like ONE MINUTE, eight pounds of steak were gone, as was the pooch… the plate was still there, no trail of steak juice, they were just gone… steam shot out of my ears and I went on the hunt to find cheyenne… when I found her, she was in the furthest part of the basement, under a shelf and far out of my reach… I couldn't reach her with a broom handle, nothing… I demanded she face the music and she did eventually slither out of that corner.
I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do, but I knew it wasn't good… my early training as an abusive asshole came into play and, as I yelled and screamed and chased cheyenne up the stairs, amy later told me she was sure murder was on my mind… especially after I herded cheyenne into the bathroom and lifted her into the tub… amy was right behind me and ready to jump in the line of fire… I was so fucking steamed I wanted to pummel the pooch, I was so close, I was yelling and screaming and then, out of nowhere I turned the shower on and yelled, "YOU DON'T LIKE SHOWERS - DO YOU!!!" WELL I DON'T LIKE MY MEAT STOLEN"!!!!!!! I looked at amy and told her something HAD to be done, she must be punished, this was a clear crossing of the line… a total betrayal!!! amy looked at me and said, "shane, she's a dog, that's what they do". oh man, I must have turned purple - I stormed out of the bathroom muttering "she's a dog, that's what they do" - "she's a dog, that's what they do"
indeed, that's what she does and that's what I do and that's what we all do… later that night amy explained to me that dogs have the maturity level of an eight year old and I need to try to treat her as a child.
it was an extreme moment in our relationship, but it was one where I gained respect for cheyennes wild, her individual, her animal, her place, and all animals place in the world, equal with human-kind, we're all just trying to get along and when theres a deal on steaks, you grab it!
we'll be feeding cheyenne liver and chicken and burgers and bacon until she'll eat no more.
1 Comments:
That is so real, it's hard to comment. The realization that our thought process is shit. Money is shit; that's where the steak thing comes in. You/me/us see it as some kind of bargain. Dogs are smart enough to steal the whole bailiwick from us have it done; understand this -- meat is life. Fuck what it costs, where it comes from, or how much more someone else wants it.
Isn't it ironic that a "dumb ass dog" can steal the entire shebang, gluttonous bitches ... and we're left sputtering like the bunch of hairless, simpering apes that we are?
To feel so angry at someone/something -- your DOG for besting you... man, I am laughing at you and with you, as my own dogs past .. .Stella, Sadie, Jasmine.. always, ALWAYS managed to best me.
Sail on, Cheyenne, you smart devil.
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thanx and please - keep checking back for replies and feel free to keep the comments coming!
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